George Costanza: "I'm neurotic! I'm insecure! I'm inadequate! I've got it ALL!"
Welcome to Cleveland, Ohio! Home of the Rock N' Roll Hall of Fame (or as New York likes to refer to it ..."U-Store It.")
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, you heard me correct: Cleveland, Ohio! We've got LeBron James! (Um, before he books to the bright lights of a big city.)
We've got Kellen "Crash Into Me" Winslow, Jr.!
We've got Paul Giamatti look-a-like and "American Splendor" star, Harvey Pekar (who never met a free buffet line he didn't like...)!
We've got a professional baseball team with an owner who often impersonates that guy from Monopoly and holds out his empty pockets in embarassment on the "Pay $15 Poor Tax" Community Chest card!
And, finally, folks ...the Cleveland fishbowl has me. Who am I ...? Who cares! I'm just some pop culture schmuck with a couple of worthless degrees under his utility belt (Communications from Cleveland State; Creative Writing from The Second City) and a whole lot of spunk! (At least on my non-hangover days...)
McBatman: "As a man, a journalist, I'm vulnerable. But as a SYMBOL - I could be everlasting..."