July 4th, 2005: God Bless This Mess!

The Fighters of Foo: "I - I'm a one way motorway. I’m the one that drives away - Then follows you back home. I - I'm a street light shining - I’m a wild light blinding bright, burning off alone. It’s times like these you learn to live again. It’s times like these you give and GIVE again. It’s times like these you learn to love again. It’s times like these, time and time again...."

Thanks everybody for your feedback on my last post(s)! Holly, what a nice surprise! I didn't forget you, sweetheart! (Hangin’ round, downtown by myself. And I had so much time, to sit and think about myself. And then there she was: Like double cherry pie! Yeah, there she was - Like disco superfly! I smell sex and candy - here (At least I thought that smell was "sex and candy" upon entering the basement offices of "The Cauldron," either that, or it was the stench of stale MGD and Rascal House pizza!) . Who’s that lounging in my (sports editor's) chair? Who’s that casting devious stares in my direction? Mama, this surely is a dream...)

I didn't write my last post as some "Psuedo-Hardy Boys' Adventure in Indie Journalism: The Search for Fool's Gold in Smuggler's Cove" (as if anybody really reads this crap, or cares about the random ramblings from "the nobody from Queens"). If anything, I truly look back on those times with fondness - good and bad. I'm just in a place where I needed to get my thoughts together, "'cause if you don't know where you're going, then you don't know where you've been."

Alfred the Butler: "So, Master Bruce, why do we fall down...?"

Bruce Wayne: "To learn how to get back up."

Anyway, Holly was a vital contributor to our little rag of a paper - she was a supporting cast member, but an important cast member nonetheless. She was like the "Lilith" to our "Cheers." She showed up late in the series, but her spicy wit kept us all in check - and we were all better for it! She got the laughs at the expense of the other "main cast members" - and, as you can tell by her post, big laughs abounded. Anyway, hon, you are not forgotten - and you will go down with the rest of this Dido ship!

"Don't want to be an American idiot. One nation controlled by the media. Information age of hysteria. It's calling out to idiot America."

So, a lot of fun was had this weekend, but I won't bore you (as usual) with the details. I'm just wishing for the best for our troops over in Iraq. I wasn't one of the "Bible thumpers" who voted for George Bush (because they don't want to see 2 dudes, or 2 chicks, be happy - unlike their own woeful lives), but we're all in this mess together, kids, and let's just hope it all ends soon and successfully - and "all those responsible" are brought to justice.

And for all you "desperate housewives" out there - I like the sultry sass of Eva, but damn if Nicolette Sheridan doesn't own the deed to my funny bone every delicious time!

I've been invited back to the Indians games versus the Tigers on Wednesday night (McEditor's Note: The Golden Goose is still waiting on that Grady Sizemore jersey, team Tribe! Please don't anger The Golden Goose - or suffer the universal karma-like consequences!!!) And, hey, how is Travis Hafner not invited to partake in the All-Star Game??? (Cough: "Bullshit!")

And to truly tolerate the madness that is war, rent the first 3 seasons of M*A*S*H on DVD: A brilliant ode to the maudlin and manic, portrayed with zany satire and sadness by the greatest character in pop culture post-modern history: Hawkeye "Benjamin Franklin" Pierce.

"I can take umbrage, I can take the cake, I can take the A-train. I can take two and call me in the morning, but I cannot take this sitting down!" - Hawkeye