Monday, September 12, 2005

Fighting Irish, Bleeding Brown and Orange, and Grady Sizemore is Bouncing Off The Walls!

The Id and I - Jump aboard and take a ride on "The Penny Press Express of the 21st Century."

So how about those Cleveland Indians, huh-? Did they shine on the ESPN national spotlight ...or what? The stadium and team looked great shining bright here in Cleveland - sweeping The Minnesota Twins and crushing their playoff hopes into oblivion.

The highlight of the game-? Grady Sizemore slamming against the backfield wall - while going after a near home run ball - and bouncing back about 10 feet. ESPN kept showing the replay of this classic kid sacrificing himself for his team - even though the Tribe had already, for the most part, won the game. That was great - nice hustle, kid!

But take it easy, Grady, we here at The Id and I already know we are watching Greatness - We've been saying that here since the beginning of the season - it's just taking the other "media mongoloids" on the national scene to catch on, is all.

Speaking of, I didn't seem to hear much this morning from the fine folks over at ESPN concerning our white hot Tribe - how are the Yankees and Oakland A's doing, by the way? And those Chicago White Sox - how are those windy city Wahoo-wannabes doing up in Chi-town-? I believe someone around here ...oh, I don't know, who could it be...? Oh, wait: It's me! I believe The Id and I has been saying - since the early innings of this baseball season - that the Chicago White Sox would COLLAPSE and The Cleveland Indians would win the A.L. Central. Again, you heard it here first, folks...

Queer Eye for Brutus Buckeye: It must be that damn sweater vest!

Did you watch that Texas-Ohio State game Saturday night...? Somebody call those five guys from Bravo, because somebody's college football team needs a serious "sports makeover." Oh, Jim Tressel, what were you thinking! You had that game won, dude! I haven't seen anything so sad since Donovan McNabb handed the Super Bowl trophy to the New England Patriots on a silver platter in last year's Super Bowl. LISTEN TO ME: I absolutely hate the "two quarterback system" doesn't work ...stop using it immediately, Coach Tressel! You may have just cost this year's OSU Buckeye team a shot at the National Championship because of it...

Oh, Bless Me Lucky Charms! Is that Notre Dame 2-0 and Ranked # 10 in the Land???

Charlie Weis - who was my first pick as head coach of the Cleveland Browns - has brought his patented brand of Patriots' magic to my beloved Fighting Irish. I no longer have to watch Notre Dame games in shame - with a brown paper bag over my head like "The Unknown Comic" of sports fans. I no longer have to watch repeated viewings of Rudy (which is like a Lifetime movie for men). Love 'em or hate 'em, folks, Notre Dame football is fun again! And then there's Maude...

Cincinnati Bengals: Looks like these cats have claws!

Well, after a valiant 1st-half start, the Cleveland Browns folded faster than Superman on laundry day in the 3rd and 4th quarters. Romeo Crennel has his work cut out for him - and even though the Bengals did not look stellar on either side of the ball, they are balanced and young enough to win the AFC North (Again, you heard it hear first...).

The Baltimore Ravens, um, on the other hand - not so much. While everyone else in the sporting world were picking these pretty in purple and black roadrunners to win our division, I just scratched my head and looked at the quarterback situation. Kyle Boller...? Anthony Wright! ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I don't care how good your defense is, you are not going to beat any Super Bowl contenders with an inept offense.

And although the Browns fell apart late in the game, they were just simply overpowered by a much better Bengals team. It is what it is, kids. Though there were some bright spots on the Browns' new offensive and defensive schemes, they are certainly not one of the worst teams in the league right now as Cold Pizza's Woody Paige suggested this morning - by saying Matt Leinart would wind up playing in Cleveland next year (because we'll have the #1 pick).

Of course, our illustrious Mr. Paige also picked the Denver Broncos to win the Super Bowl (cough) - and I would think that the New York Jets, um, might be a better fit for Matt Leinart, don't you, Cleveland...? I do - in a New York minute.

The Id and I - McMemo to Jurassic Journalists: If this web blog is rockin', don't come a knockin'!


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