Sunday, December 10, 2006

Passing notes in Tribe class: Do you like the owner of The Cleveland Indians? Please check one box below: [ ] Yes? [ ] No? [ ] Maybe?

So I know it's a little too early to start talking about major league baseball - or even The Cleveland Indians - just yet. But my Super Bowl predictions (The Panthers vs. The Bengals) went down the toilet with The Tidy Bowl Man.

And does anyone even want to talk about The Cleveland Browns-? They have dropped the ball this season more times than Dennis Northcutt! It's pretty bad when I have to pull my "Members Only" jacket and Rubik's Cube out of storage ...and cheer for Marty Schottenheimer and The San Diego Chargers.

So you can image my eternal excitement last week when I read that the team owner of The Cleveland Indians, Larry Dolan, finally "got the message" from fans that he needs to spend more money this season (Whaaaaat? WHO said THAT-?!?!?).

Even better was the news that the Tribe signed former closer from The Florida Marlins, Joe Borowski, to a one-year deal worth $4.25 million. This is a great deal for The Tribe - I love it!

Borowski had 36 saves in 43 attempts for the Marlins last season - and this move re-ignites my faith in the team's general manager, Mark Shapiro.

Don't worry, I know it's the holidays but I'm not going to go all "Rankin/Bass" on you after last season when there were: "NO TOYS ALLOWED in Toyland!!!"

I highly doubt that you'll ever see me ("Kris McKringle") go up to Larry Dolan ("Burgermeister") and hand him a toy ("Grady Sizemore bobblehead") to try and melt his icy heart at "Chrismakkuh."

But, then again, I wouldn't discount my "capacity for cuteness" either - I've melted many an icy heart in my lifetime (Yeah, I'm looking at YOU, Cleveland Indians). If you keep making moves like this one in the off-season, Team Tribe, you'll be swooning faster than Buck Showalter can sing to Eric Wedge: "Put one foot in front of the other ...and soon you'll be walking out the door-or-OR!"

Regardless, it's a good move for the Tribe and, now, I need to get back to work. But I thought I would mention this because like Jerry Seinfeld: "My hair could be on fire and I could still talk about sports!"


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