Wednesday, July 26, 2006

"Bye Bye Broussard-ie!"

The id and I asks "the tough questions," folks:

I wonder what Kurt Cobain would think of Ben Broussard's season if Mr. Cobain were still alive today-?

Well, if anyone still cares, The Cleveland Indians shipped first baseman Ben Broussard off to The Seattle Mariners for outfielder Shin-Soo Choo and a player to named later.

Shin-Soo ...who???

According to "The 24-year-old Choo, who's spent the majority of this year at Triple-A Tacoma, will join the Indians and be the club's starting right fielder against right-handed pitching.

Choo, a native of Korea, has hit .323 with 13 homers and 48 RBIs in 94 games at Tacoma this year. He's also stolen 26 bases in 30 attempts. He was named the seventh-best prospect in the Mariners organization by Baseball America earlier this year."

Wait. What ...what is this weird tingling sensation coming over me? I feel so ...conflicted. I cannot believe that I'm about to admit this, but ...I actually LIKE this trade!

I feel so dirty.

But, what the hell, life is short and my loyalties are often as lopsided as plate of Jell-O - or FOX News. Honestly, my feelings about this Indians organization have not changed, but fair is fair - and this looks like a very good trade for The Tribe.

That's a hard thing for me to admit when Mark Shapiro and Co. constantly pat themselves on the back because they believe every single move they make (no matter how absurd) is "a work of genius" - They're like the "M. Night Shyamalan of the baseball world."

And I still cannot get passionate about this team as long as Larry Dolan owns this vibrating coin-operated franchise. So, even though I still care, it's kind of like what Marge Simpson told Edna (Mrs.) Crabapple on her wedding night: "Oh, passion's for teenagers and immigrants!"

And yet, 32,000 fans turned out today at the ballbark for a "businessman's special" - a team 23.5 games out of first place ...and another loss for The Indians. I love Jacob's Field, too, but these people must be "a wet dream" for used car salesmen and late-night infomercials...

As far as Ben Broussard goes, he had an impressive season on the offensive side of the ball, but his defense (no doubt) left a lot to be desired. I don't know - Maybe our "Baby Bono" will be more at home out in "Bigfoot country" living in an abandoned loft next to Pearl Jam.

Me-? I've always been more of a Stone Temple Pilots kind of guy. Hey, what can I say-? I know what I like when it comes to psuedo-Seattle grunge rock, thrifty Cleveland sports teams, and monsters I have seen fleetingly on "In Search Of."

Call it "a sixth sense." (Wink, wink)


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