Monday, July 31, 2006

Chief Wahoo: "Make The Bad Man Stop!!!"

From McWire reports...

Well, chalk up another Cleveland Indian who got "scalped" by Mark Shapiro and his merry band of misfits! Second baseman Ronnie Belliard is on his way to greener pastures with The St. Louis Cardinals after being traded for "a can of corn and a Cory Snyder rookie card."

I don't know what The Cleveland Indians are thinking right now. Save some cash, fleece some sheepish fans-? Anything is possible here in Thunderdome!

I honestly thought that Mark Shapiro was a good General Manager for The Tribe - but now I'm not so sure. But, one thing's for certain, I'm not going to bash him like some Mel ("Get thee to a nunnery!") Gibson on drunken holiday (We drunken leprechauns - although sarcastic - are a peaceful people).

To his credit, Shapiro has brought Grady Sizemore and Cliff Lee to Cleveland - but I don't know how much of that was just "dumb luck" in a trade that showcased the long-gone Brandon Phillips.

To be sure, there is a lot of BLAME to be handed out to this Tribe team of 2006 that has gone awry. But who, you have to ask, is ultimately pulling the strings of this Tribe trainwreck-? Is it the owner, Larry Dolan-? Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge-? Slider-? Or a combination of bad decisions based on their cumulative indecisiveness-?

This is all beginning to feel like a scene from A Few Good Men:

Lt. Daniel Kaffee: "Did you order the Code Red-?"

Col. Nathan R. Jessep: "I did the job. I..."

Lt. Daniel Kaffee: [shouting] "DID YOU ORDER THE CODE RED-?"

Col. Jessep: [shouts] "YOU'RE GODDAMN RIGHT I DID!"

I truly believe that the blame (no signal) for "This Plan" (no signal) falls soley on the hands (no signal) of the owner - Larry Dolan (no signal). He has yet to prove he his willing to "spend the money" (no signal) which he is so shamelessly making from (no signal) Sports Time Ohio - while those other "poor middle-market teams" like The Detroit Tigers and The Minnesota Twins are running away with the AL division and wildcard.

It's bad enough that we got the rug pulled out from under us by that no-talent Ben Affleck and his whining Boston Red Sox! (You've got Jennifer Ganrner sleeping in your bed - How much is TOO MUCH, Ben!) Now we don't even have a future to mortgage - or hold on to anymore.

You, as fans, need to stop "waxing your dolphin" down at The Jake - even if it's "Drew Carey Bobblehead Night" - and start asking some tough questions of Larry Dolan, Mark Shapiro and Eric Wedge. You, as fans, deserve nothing less from them as they continue to take your money for "services NOT rendered."

As for me, in the meantime, I'll keep holding onto hope that The Tribe will someday turn things around like I hang onto The Sports Time Ohio antenna high above Cloud City in The Empire Strikes Back:

Darth Dolan: "Fluke, Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father-"

Fluke Skyblogger: "He told me enough! He told me YOU traded him away for some cash considerations and a player to be named later!"

Darth Dolan: "No, Fluke. I am your father!"

Fluke Skyblogger: "No - NO! It's not true. IT'S NOT TRUE!"

Darth Dolan: "Search your feelings - you know it to be true! Fluke, join me and together we can rule The Sports Time Ohio universe (no signal) father and son!"

Well sorry, Your Highness, but you failed - I'll never join you. I'll never be one of your "media muppets" - and I'll never believe in your "Plan."

May The Force be with you, Cleveland!

The id and I - "Made with my very own Fisher-Price computer!"


At 1:05 PM, Blogger John Ettorre said...

Chris, you're surely a glutton for punishment to continue to follow the Indians through this butt-ugliest of seasons. I find myself simply unable to muster the psychic energy to care about anything having to do with the team in this Dolan era, which has been and will continue to be a bad joke for as long as they own the team. I would have once thought it impossible for anyone or anything to ever make Dick Jacobs look good, but this penny-pinching idiot Dolan clan has certainly accomplished that.

At 7:44 PM, Blogger Tim said...

I just happened across your blog as I was searching for a page. Sadly, it does not exist.

I just posted this on my own blog, and it seems to fit in here, but it's nothing that hasn't already been said.

Btw, it's

If the Indians go 39-2 over the next 41 games they will equal their record from last year.

Somehow, I don't think that's likely.

I just had the pleasure of watching ANOTHER blown save by their lovely bullpen.

I wonder... what could be the reason? Could it be because they didn't want to pay $4 million to Bob Howry? A guy considered to be one of the best setup men in baseball the last few years? Or could it be that they traded their closer for next to nothing?

How do you go from the best bullpen in baseball to the worst in one season? I think it starts with one word: cheap. Larry Dooverpaid for the Indians and now he can't afford to field a moderately priced team. I'm not saying he needs to spend $150 million, or even $100 million, but at least spend $15 million to keep your best setup guy and the league leader in ERA from last year (Kevin Millwood.) How different would the season be with stability in the pen and the rotation? How much better is Kevin Millwood than Jason Johnson? How can you even begin to believe that Johnson, a so-called innings eater, would do something this year that he has never done before; i.e. have a winning season?

The cheapness of this owner is leading to a self-fullfilling prophecy. He claims that he can't pay for talent unless there is a spike in attendance. Well guess what Larry... when Dick Jacobs was spending $100 million a year on a team of all-stars, the Jake was sold out for 454 consecutive games. Now you want sell-outs for a bunch of rookies and players that will be gone as soon as their rookie contracts are up. How about spending some cash on long term deals for KNOWN quantities? How about sacking up for once and bringing in a stud in the prime of his career? Spend some money and the fans will come. If you keep fielding 60 or 70 win teams you'll never have the place more than half full.

You overpaid for the team and now you have no money, so do us a favor and sell the team. Preferably to Randy Lerner, the owner of the Browns. He has Cleveland roots and has more than enough money to spend $4 million to keep together the best bullpen in the league.

So, Larry. Would you spend $15 million for 39 more wins?


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