Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Postcards from the Cleveland edge and a memo to Anderson Varejao: "Um ...Mi casa es su casa?"

Got a telegram from Western Union this afternoon:

Charlotte Bobcats sign Anderson "Wild Thing" Varejao to an offer sheet. STOP. That's not the big news. STOP. The Cleveland Cavaliers and GM Danny Ferry have matched the offer to Raggedy Andy. STOP. He's not going anywhere fast nor soon, you idiot. STOP. What the hell were you thinking bashing Varejao before he actually left town? STOP! STOP! STOP! Is it too late to join Dick Feagler down in Public Square for some hot peanuts circa 1958 Cleveland? STOP. You could never live without your TIVO or other modern conveniences, you smug fool! STOP. Truth be told, I prefer Vincenza's pizza (circa 1998-Present) or The Tap House burgers (circa 1997) me self. STOP. Hot damn, now that I think about it, does Western Union even exist anymore??? STOP. Can you imagine, Kurt Cobain and Nirvana were my Beatles...? STOP. Holy crap, does that make Courtney Love my Yoko??? STOP. Sooooo ...what the hell was I babbling about again? STOP!!!

Oh yeah, Anderson Varejao is coming "home" to the Cleveland Cavaliers... Wait, what? Where did Miguel Cabrera GO in all of this?


Note to self and all Cleveland sports fans: Anderson Varejao is a Cleveland Cavalier (again). But he still firmly expressed before, during, and after his initial "hissy fit" that he has no desire to play for Cleveland, did he not? Or maybe I'm just ...wigging out.

So, no doubt, even though the Cavaliers are a better team with this "fan favorite" and "slightly above-average role player" - where, ultimately, does that leave the Cavs in the grand scheme of things?

All past Carlos Boozer/Manny Ramirez/Jim Thome "how dare you scorn Cleveland for more money, you traitor!" indiscretions aside: In the end, really, aren't all we left with NOW is an angry (and not much richer) Anderson Varejao who may or may not "give his all" for these Cleveland Cavaliers with egg all over his face ...and intangibles?

Honestly, for the city of Cleveland itself, I truly hope not.

But, hey, I'm willing to forgive and forget for the greater good of the team. Only because I pretty much couldn't care less, either way, about this team (or the NBA) who "trap" their unappreciative prima donna players thanks to their shady agents with the help of their "friends" at the Charlotte Bobcats in a you-scratch-my-back-and-I'll-sign-your-hack bonus round. So what exactly, as Cleveland sports fans, are we going to do as we stand semi-helpless on the sidelines? Return to sender?

Or much like Handy Andy (and myself), hop back on the bandwagon at a later date? Either way, right or wrong, it's most certainly time to collectively move on, past our petty squabbles, to bigger and better things in the universe, don't you think? I do, amigos.

STOP. And think about it for a minute, won't you?

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