Wednesday, December 20, 2006

The Cleveland Browns are 0-6 in the AFC North: "We Are Marsh(m)all(ows)"

The id and I - It looks like we have a "Full House" in Cleveland ...and Mary Kay is my ambitious Olsen twin!

It's times like these when I feel like inviting Larry Dolan over for a snifter of brandy and a fine Cuban cigar to have a good laugh about The Cleveland Browns in my study.

Or not.

And with the 2006 season of The Cleveland Browns all but over (again) it's hard to feel sorry for this seemingly endless sad-sack organization.

But look no further than the NFC South, where The New Orleans Saints (and their city) have rebounded from Hurricane Katrina with a football force of nature all their own.

After many seasons of fans wearing paper bags over their heads, The Saints went in a new direction - hiring the former assistant head coach under Bill Parcells, Sean Payton, as their fearless leader and signing Pro Bowl quarterback, Drew Brees, in free agency.

In one year, they drafted running back, Reggie Bush, with the second pick of the draft in the first round - and wide receiver rookie sensation Marques Colston (from Hofstra) in the SEVENTH ROUND.

3rd year wide receivers, Terrance Copper and Devery Henderson, have emerged from out of nowhere to step in for former Saints sensation, Joe Horn, and complete one of the most exciting passing combos this season.

Now the Saints have won the NFC South and they are headed to the NFL playoffs with the weight of New Orleans on their shoulders.

Meanwhile, the Browns are back at square one (again) - and crying in their "Great Lakes Christmas Ale" on the not-so-mighty shores of Lake Erie. We have a "quarterback controversy" over two guys that the rest of the planet has to ask: "Who-???"

Brady Quinn is going to The Lions, or Raiders, or Buccaneers ...oh my! Often-injured Oklahoma running back, Adrian Peterson, could be a nice "cure all" for Cleveland after the Browns (shudder) passed on LaDainian Tomlison - but the problem with Peterson is that he's always been a one-man M*A*S*H unit.

And now Ohio State quarterback Troy Smith is being heralded as "the Heisman hero" who will come home to Cleveland to save the Browns - and our town. The only question remains on whether or not Smith is more Vince Young than Danny Wuerffel once he hits the NFL next year.

Which leads us all back (again) to the offensive line of The Cleveland Browns which has been patched together over the years with a strategy that resembles an old lady playing "PLINKO" on The Price Is Right.

I'm done shaking my "Magic 8-ball" for answers when it comes to The Cleveland Browns and their organization. The only question I have left for Randy Lerner, Phil Savage, and Romeo Crennel is this: "If the beleaguered New Orleans Saints can bounce back after enduring a natural disaster like Hurricane Katrina (AND George W. Bush) ...then why are the Brown and Orange of Cleveland more black and blue ...than Black and Gold-?"

Magic 8-ball sez: "Ask again later."


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