Sunday, May 06, 2007

Spider-Man 3: "It's Crap-tastic!!!"

Could Dennis Kucinich (pictured left) be the next Electro in Spider-Man 4 if Sony comes back to Cleveland to film the sequel? I'm spider-sensing an old Muny Light Co. storyline that would make Michael Chabon weak in the knees. Hey, True Believers, if Dennis doesn't get the part in that fictional farce - it's no one's DEFAULT but his own! 'Nuff said.

So, okay, the hype is over and the box office receipts are in the bank. And even though Spider-Man 3 had a lot of electrifying moments - the flick was a major disappointment (even as summer blockbuster entertainment).

Too many plot points shamelessly shoved into a "farewell to the troops" finale. A wasted opportunity with Thomas Haden Church as "Sandman" (a landmark Spider-Man villain) and the return of a snow-boarding "Green Goblin" (James Franco) that no doubt was a desperate attempt to appeal to a thirsty Pepsi (and Xbox) generation - fell flat.

Topher Grace (and the special effects that enveloped him) shined as "Venom." However, director Sam Raimi was too busy trying to be "everything to everybody" to stay true to the Spider-Man mythos.

The character of Doc Connors ("The Lizard") has been introduced in all three films - yet he has failed to materialize as another one of Spidey's superb snarling foes. Thusly, another opportunity has been "Doc-blocked" leaving this latest installment of the franchise feeling like sex without the orgasm.

The spotlight should have stayed on the Harry Osborne-Green Goblin/Peter Parker-Spider-Man "friendship" and their battle to co-exist as friends and foes (while staying true to the original Stan Lee-Steve Ditko formula for success) - instead of just dissolving into a special effects sideshow.

Everything else in Spider-Man 3 just fodder for the web.

Grade: C+


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