Tuesday, May 29, 2007

LeBron James: The King, the id, and I

I just cannot get enough of the LeBron James-Warren Buffett tandem in action ...can you? Whether they are swapping stock picks, having lunch at some quaint greasy spoon diner together ...or just solving another wacky murder mystery involving an eccentric industrialist without a face ...these two kids just seem to be the original odd couple! LeBron James and White Bread can do no wrong in my eyes!

Moonlighting strangers ...who just met 'long the way.

Now if only Warren Buffett could advise us (and the rest of the front office of the Cleveland Cavaliers) in regards to Larry Hughes: "Sell! Sell! SELL!" Dainel Gibson: "Buy, buy, BUY!"

So how long before Travis Hafner and Jim Cramer team up-?

Maddie Hayes (Cybill Shepherd): "You don't believe me, do you-?"

David Addison (Bruce Willis): "No. But I believe IN YOU."
I can almost hear Agnes DiPesto saying: "Blue Moon Detective Agency. Have a Cleveland sports team that's in a rut? Do you have a household that's missing a mutt? We have the detective agency that is so fine! Kellen Winslow-? We'll keep him in line! The national media ... don't have a clue. They all said in the beginning ...that LeBron really blew! The Cleveland Indians are in first place - if only McVetta would show his face! Brady Quinn of the Browns ...is on the rise. Training camp don't mean much ...we do surmise. So if you are sad, if you are blue ...look to the id ...we'll give you a CLUE!"

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The Simpsons: 400th Episode!

"God, no! I get my news like the rest of the normal people under the age of 70 - from the Internet. So long, dinosaur!"

-- The Comic Book Guy responding to local anchorman, Kent Brockman, after asking if he saw his television show, Smartline, last night (on The Simpsons).

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Spider-Man 3: "It's Crap-tastic!!!"

Could Dennis Kucinich (pictured left) be the next Electro in Spider-Man 4 if Sony comes back to Cleveland to film the sequel? I'm spider-sensing an old Muny Light Co. storyline that would make Michael Chabon weak in the knees. Hey, True Believers, if Dennis doesn't get the part in that fictional farce - it's no one's DEFAULT but his own! 'Nuff said.

So, okay, the hype is over and the box office receipts are in the bank. And even though Spider-Man 3 had a lot of electrifying moments - the flick was a major disappointment (even as summer blockbuster entertainment).

Too many plot points shamelessly shoved into a "farewell to the troops" finale. A wasted opportunity with Thomas Haden Church as "Sandman" (a landmark Spider-Man villain) and the return of a snow-boarding "Green Goblin" (James Franco) that no doubt was a desperate attempt to appeal to a thirsty Pepsi (and Xbox) generation - fell flat.

Topher Grace (and the special effects that enveloped him) shined as "Venom." However, director Sam Raimi was too busy trying to be "everything to everybody" to stay true to the Spider-Man mythos.

The character of Doc Connors ("The Lizard") has been introduced in all three films - yet he has failed to materialize as another one of Spidey's superb snarling foes. Thusly, another opportunity has been "Doc-blocked" leaving this latest installment of the franchise feeling like sex without the orgasm.

The spotlight should have stayed on the Harry Osborne-Green Goblin/Peter Parker-Spider-Man "friendship" and their battle to co-exist as friends and foes (while staying true to the original Stan Lee-Steve Ditko formula for success) - instead of just dissolving into a special effects sideshow.

Everything else in Spider-Man 3 ...is just fodder for the web.

Grade: C+