Monday, October 15, 2007

ESPN can eat it with Stadium Mustard: The Cleveland Indians are up on The Bloody Sox!

"So it looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue." --Steve McCroskey, Airplane!

And it looks like the wrong week for the "sports leader in television" to side with George Steinbrenner and his gigantic New Yawk payroll. It looks like the wrong week to side with LeBron James and his misguided "love" for the New York Yankees, huh-?

"And all I can do is just pour some tea for two, and speak my point of view. But it's not sane. It's not sane..."

The Cleveland Indians are for real, ESPN! No, the Detroit Tigers did not win the American League Central. No, your beloved New York Yankees did not advance beyond the first round of the playoffs (nor past the terrific Tribe). And, no, the behemoths known only as the Boston Red Sox are not pounding my Cleveland Indians into sublime submission during the MLB post-season playoffs either.

So, ESPN, do you have any other "predictions" to bestow upon the "unwashed masses" here in Cleveland? Maybe the New York Jets will win the Super Bowl while we have at it - nah, I think not.

Matt Damon was quoted in Entertainment Weekly recently stating that he owned a shirt proclaiming: "Jesus Hates The New York Yankees!" Well, sure, don't we all-? But... does he have a shirt saying what the Scientologists think about the Cleveland Indians and their slim chances? Hey, maybe they SHOULD... L. Ron Mother-Hubbards!

Friday, October 05, 2007

LeBron James: The Cat in the Hat

So, what the Wahoo was LeBron James thinking wearing a New York Yankees' hat? No doubt, it's not the crime of the century - but was he channeling "Elaine" from Seinfeld, or what?

Sham I am ...Green Eggs and Ham! Hey, all Dr. Seuss aside, LeBron can cheer for whatever "Evil Empire" he wants to ...but wearing it to the Jake during a Tribe playoff game was simply shameless, no doubt.

Ever hear about hometown loyalty? Does LeBron know anything about respect? Does someone from Akron understand anything about Cleveland pride (or lack thereof)? I think not.

I expect this kind of treachery from the national media and the such. I have come to expect this kind of nonsense from the ESPN nitwits who shill for their big market teams without the blink of an eye. Look no further than ESPN's Mike Greenberg who "predicted" the Detroit Tigers would win the AL Central MONTHS ago.

Greenberg's book: Why My Wife Thinks I'm an Idiot: The Life and Times of a Sportscaster Dad (she's not the only one) tells his God-like rise "to the top" as he (and his nanny) struggle with the burdens of raising their rich kids while juggling his responsibilites as a professional sportscaster.

Regardless, Mike Greenberg's baseball "predictions" on the ESPN Death Star (like his lame attempt at a book) belong in the dirty laundry bin - along with the rest of the "poopy diapers."

Go Tribe!

I'm not bitter, ladies and gentlemen of the jury - I just want to set the record straight: And ESPN can't handle the Truth!

As far as LeBron James - someone should feed his Yankees' cap to Rudy Hafner as a chew toy here in Cleveland! Who let the Tribe out? Woof! Woof! Woof!

Chris McVetta is a shameless psuedo-sports writer (without the media credentials) who predicted the Tribe in the playoffs and the Cleveland Browns with an (8-8) season. Who knew?